Friday, April 16

Gifts For Writers 2020 (Pandemic Edition?)

* checks notes *.

As soon as again, the HOLIDAYS are upon us, where we might GATHER WITH FRIENDS and RENEW OUR BONDS WITH FAMILY and SHARE AEROSOLIZED MIST between us and BREATHE IN EACH OTHERS VARIOUS PATHOGENS INCLUDING THE HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS AND DELETERIOUS CORONAVIRUS and together we can merrily OVERWHELM HOSPITALS AND

Wait no were not expected to do any of that?

As constantly, these are presents that the author in your life may or may not like or discover helpful.

Please to delight in.

A pandemic tension relief buddy: early on, with our kiddo going virtual, we knew he was going to feel some level of aggravation and we didnt desire that pressure developing up in him like a rogue Instant Pot IED, and so we thought, all right, lets purchase him something for that. And we bought him this motherfucker right here. If you desire an even more punchable (and more affordable) dummy, this smiling bastard is simply asking to have his block knocked off.

Literary methods to filter viruses from your face: Out of Print has a series of incredible book-themed masks, consisting of a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy facemask. Which says DONT PANIC. Which is great. BookRiot has a good list here, too.

However their mileage might differ.

Shit! Shit.

What Im attempting to say is, it is the vacations, and you might discover that during these vacations, a wild writer has actually appeared, and authors are a strange type and can just be appeased with a select set of specific presents. Provide the incorrect gifts and they will haunt your home for a years, and compose nasty books about you. We are cruel trickster gods, everybody.

All of us Live In Zoom Now: So possibly the author in your life requires a ring light?

Im also a sucker for anything lavender-smelling, and lavender from Maui at least can have you pretending like you traveled to Hawaii rather of standing stooped over in your cooking area doomscrolling your phone. A writer may likewise like alcohol and ice cream, and you can combine the 2 at Clementines. Possibly stick with the lavender lotion?

Provide Some Oxygen: Seriously, were all trapped in our houses, purchase a writer a plant.

Distraction-free, irony-heavy writing device: The FreeWrite has a new gadget out, and its The Traveler– an author can use this no-frills word processor and pretend like theyre traveling the world and composing in uncommon, superb places instead of sitting at the dining space table with a feline in their lap and a cat on their head and a pet dog farting in the corner and most likely a child weeping someplace.

Shameless plug placed in the center so you hopefully dont discover its shamelessness: I wrote a book, its called Damn Fine Story, I think its respectable? Perhaps? Its everything about the weave and weft of storytelling– the shape of story, the elements, the patterns, the methods to break those patterns. It also includes a story about an elk masturbating, which is plainly a value include. You can purchase it in print or digital. And yes, Virginia, there is an audio version now.

Appyteasers: John August, ever the wise guy, has actually created his own writing app– its for script-writing, however versatile enough you can use it in other ways. Highland 2, go grabby.

Ive utilized the Wander app to literally go to places Im composing about in lieu of being able to travel, and its truthfully helped. Worth possibly looking to tethered options, rather, but that will require a good computer system to go with it.

Actually any book from any indie book shop. Writers enjoy books. We consume them. Did you not know that? We no longer read them, weve risen beyond that point and now require them as food. We still get the story! We just do it with our teeth rather of our eyes. Anyway. Indie bookstores are an essential part of our Book Ecosystem– and we desire them to make it through so that we can survive. So, if youve an author in your life, simply get them books from your local indie. Or checkout indiebound.org or bookshop.org. My 2 regional shops likewise deliver to you– Doylestown Bookshop and Lets Play Books. If you need a book concept, get the writer in your life a copy of your favorite book. The one you can not live without. That or a giftcard. Giftcards are fantastic. Or a pony. Do bookstores offer ponies? No? Shit.

Or possibly purchase a witch spell that turns a writer into a bird because fuck it.

And if you wan na examine older lists, here are links to 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014.

The Idea Toolset: I am a fan of Baron Figs note pads and Squire pen, and theyve combined that into a single handle a bring case: their Idea Toolset. Seriously, the Squire pen is my fave.

If youve a writer in your life, just get them books from your regional indie. Buy this for the writer in your life. Every writer I understand enjoys this fucking video game and they should. I have an authors shed and as a point of trivia, we constructed it out of the thousands of notebooks I have actually accrued over the years.

I have a writers shed and as a point of trivia, we built it out of the thousands of note pads I have accumulated over the years. Purchase here, or go here to see how it works. Or, for a different version of sustainable that requires no app-based anything: Karst note pads are 100% tree free, and made of … stone?

ANYHOW, thats it.

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Narrative gaming: I always find video games about storytelling do some work to sharpen my narrative muscles, though clearly insufficient to tell me you do not hone muscles, however whatever, I dont have a lot of time, were gon na keep advancing. Some brand-new story games out there perhaps worth a look: Icarus (no central GM, inform collaborative tale of a fluctuate of a civilization); the Awkward Storyteller (amusing, random); Tattered Tales (much better for kids, households). If you like Magnetic Poetry, theres MOIST, AND OTHER AWFUL WORDS. Or, a deck of writing prompts! Finally, the terribly great Dreyers English now has a video game variation!

Were All Birders Now, Too: I indicate, seriously, I sit and compose and then stop writing and look at birds. Or perhaps purchase a witch spell that turns a writer into a bird due to the fact that fuck it.

Get Them Some Learnin: Subscribe them to Dongwon Songs PUBLISHING IS HARD Substack.

See in 2015s Gifts For Writers (2019) here.

Purchase this for the writer in your life. Every writer I know likes this fucking video game and they should. The story is the game and the game is the story.

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