Saturday, July 31

With One Week To Go, Here’s My Prediction Of What Happens On Election Day

Ready?

We are at the hinge point– the door is opening, or the door is closing. We are seven days away from Election Day, and millions of people have actually currently voted. The Senate is up for grabs. The presidency is up for grabs. Our present president thinks ladiess body parts are up for grabs. Its a lot. I figured, why not use my thoughts? Why not dig into the polls, do some nitty-gritty, analyze the possible outcomes, and lay out what I believe will be the likeliest course of action on that day.

Here it is:

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA

I am a hugely dithering ping-pong ball in a table tennis video game played by angels and devils– my heart goes from table side to table side, from WANTON FOOLISH OPTIMISM to GUT-CHURNING SOUL-CRUSHING PESSIMISM, with little possibility to pick either. My hope is Schroedingers Cat in the goddamn box: it is dead and alive at the same time, its fate unidentified up until the box is finally opened and the cat is exposed. I have actually no concept what is to come. How could you? This is 2020. This is the year of CHAOS INCARNATE. Come Wednesday we mayve chosen a hive of giant hornets to the highest workplace in the land, and truthfully, it d be an improvement on what we got.

None of the shit theyve attempted to stick to Biden has actually stuck, and Trump appears, from my window at least, to be flailing– and I dont state that as a Triumphant Liberal, due to the fact that typically liberals are the first to be like OH GOD MY CANDIDATE IS DROWNING IN THE ABYSS THE OTHER GUY IS GON NA WIN. Theres a stink around Trump thats like what you get off a car-struck raccoon– a rotten, bloated smell. Oh, rich people are getting richer, thats good, if youre mega-rich.

AHHHHHHHHH

His top priorities have been:

a) abundant individuals

And part of that is down to the fact that this binary outcome is by no indicates the only, or even most likely outcome. Biden could win, and Trump could contest it, and now that hes got Supreme Court Justice Handmaids Tale in the seat, she might throw the election to him. If we have anything approaching Bush V. Gore, theyve loaded the courts so hard with corrupt bastards, that fate is composed.

All in equivalent proportions.

b) bigotry

Further, theyve created a pipeline that pumps shit into individualss heads while encouraging them its caviar. Individuals have actually developed for themselves not so much an echo chamber as a Jonestown enclave with all the “”” definitely unpoisoned””” Flavor-Aid you require. I suggest, you attempt to inform people “hi thats not a real thing you just said” and they snap back with WELL DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH regardless of the fact they did actually no research at all except reading an email from Old Uncle Dave who said that the Democrats are terminating children in Brooklyn pizza ovens in order to calm the Demonic Socialist Treaties.

Do I believe its possible hes constructed on his union from 2020? Its difficult to imagine, since Ive seen anecdotally (across the country and regional) a number of Republicans who have bailed– they saw a “businessman,” wanted some modification, and got nothing for the bet. Its truly difficult to think of people getting onboard a hayride complete of manure as it totters drunkenly toward a cliff.

But this is America in 2020. The writing is centipedes. The wall is a glitching TV screen. Theres no stability. No sense to whats going on. Part of that is deliberate– its not that 2020 is some sort of CURSED YEAR (other than it completely is), but that the Grand Ole Party has dedicated a violent psychological attack on our brains. They are hypocrites at every turn, they are phonies, they question know-how, they lie, they turn their face from standard facts– the ground beneath us is unstable since they have dedicated to its instability. They can get away with more bullshit if we are unsteady. If were attempting to capture a bunch of falling plates and cups from rattled cabinets, they can steal our money and jewels and animals while we flail. Because theyre continuously on the offense, were continuously on the defense. All we can do is block punches due to the fact that its INFINITE PUNCHES.

Ahem.

Trump eats children while accusing Democrats of consuming infants! Holes opening up beneath all of his, holes from whence goblins crawl, holes that stink of sulfur and groan and gibber! HAhahahaahAHAHA AAHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ARE WE GOING TO BE OKAY ARE WE NOT GOING TO BE OKAY JESUS EFFING CHRIST ON A CRAPWAGON THERES STILL THE PANDEMIC AND STILL THE RISING BOIL-TIDE OF CLIMATE CHANGE AND AAAAAAAH PLEASE MAKE THE SHITTY PRESIDENT SHUT UP AND GO AWAY I NEVER WANT TO HEAR HIM OR SEE HIM OR LAY EYES ON HIS MAGGOTY FUCKING TWEETS EVERY AGAIN AAAAAAAAEEHhhghghhhrrble

Beyond that, hes got nothing. Hes proposed no program for 2020, and the GOPs agenda for 2020 is, “uhhh, what d Trump say?” and round and round we go.

However, its 2020. And white supremacy is a helluva drug.

The Cursed Year 2020 may have other things in store.

c) judges

So, in a regular time, he couldnt win.

Shit, if I woke up on Wednesday and the news said, “Both governmental candidates were eaten by starving polar bears, which throws the election to Kanye West,” I d be like, yeah, that tracks. I do not understand whats coming down the pike! Other than the majority is ruled by a minority who is increasingly pushing religious beliefs over science, who advises white supremacy and misogyny over inclusion, who is continuously working to weaken the vote rather than get the vote out, who is expecting grand overtures of appreciation for doing actually absolutely nothing except harming people, who supports a president that consistently makes remarks about being president for an extra 4 years, or eight, or for life, or demanding his children end up being president next, or, or, or.

Could Biden win? I didnt think he might back in the primaries. I was incorrect. Hes run a far better campaign than I expected. Hes taken serious actions to really bring onboard a diverse union of voices, and he actually did relocate a more progressive direction in locations it counts. Hes made it clear hes the person who embraces empathy and science and while usually I d hope those would be obvious choices for project slabs, its 2020 and weve got a president who jerks off to Q-Anon propaganda and who lacks fundamental proficiency in almost everything. (God, I actually want a journalist who would just ask him to describe basic truths about our federal government. A journalist who plays dumb and who asks for his description, and after that you view him just stammer through some mumbo jumbo answer like an 8th grader who didnt read the book hes presently giving a report on.) So, Biden could win too. The numbers favor him. Peace of mind prefers him. Basic humankind prefers him.

I got nothing.

But this aint typical.

In a regular year, in a regular country, the writing is on the wall.

What I got is this:

And I know that if the shit strikes the fan, we can count on the individuals to get on some comfy shoes and a jacket and hit the streets, particularly for those who cant. And I think we need to be prepared for that. We should be there for each other and for our democracy, in the voting cubicles, on the streets, in the charities that need us, for everyone who is reaching out and will be hurt by four more years of this poisonous, inefficient administration.

I have hope in laser bears.

The laser bears.

Im not alone.

Youre not alone.

I have hope in you.

Since, I suggest, at this moment, why the fuck not?

LASER BEARS 2024

pyoo pyoo

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Biden might win, and Trump might contest it, and now that hes got Supreme Court Justice Handmaids Tale in the seat, she might toss the election to him. Other than the bulk is ruled by a minority who is increasingly pushing religious beliefs over science, who urges white supremacy and misogyny over addition, who is continuously working to weaken the vote rather than get the vote out, who is expecting grand overtures of appreciation for doing actually absolutely nothing other than injuring people, who supports a president that routinely makes remarks about being president for an additional four years, or eight, or for life, or requiring his kids end up being president next, or, or, or. And I understand that if the shit hits the fan, we can count on the individuals to get on some comfy shoes and a coat and hit the streets, particularly for those who cant.

Oh, rich individuals are getting richer, thats good, if youre mega-rich. Its really difficult to think of individuals getting onboard a hayride complete of manure as it totters drunkenly toward a cliff.

* bear noises *.

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